"Real Friendship"

Text: Ecc. 4:9-10 & Selected

FRIEND DAY

Do we need a true friend? You bet we do! In a society that is getting more "connected" people are finding themselves becoming more disconnected with fewer real friends. The number one emotional problem today is loneliness. Our need and desire to have real friendship; its part of our human nature to love and to be loved. Jesus had His inner circle of close friends (Peter, James & John), David had Jonathan, Paul had Barnabas… even the Lone Ranger had Tonto, and Batman had Robin! You too need "A True Friend", don’t buy a dog - make a friend! Real friendships are never by accident – they are intentionally made. They are planned, nurtured and built taking years to grow richer and deeper.

Eccles. 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

In a survey of more than 40,000 Americans these qualities were most valued in a friend:

1) The ability to keep confidences 2) loyalty 3) warmth and affection.

Psychology Today, quoted in June, 1982 Homemade

A small boy defined a friend as "Someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same."

A friend is the first person who comes in when the whole world goes out. - Henry Durbanville

Real Friendship with one another but we can also have a friendship with God that will last forever

Real Friendship Requires…

1. Profound Commitment ~ Loyalty

Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. NKJV

The wise King Solomon said to have friends you must be friendly! Sticks close… committed - Loyal

Friendship always begins with commitment – to obligate oneself to another – sticking with each other.

It’s important to have a "few" good friends – friends we can trust fully.

It is reported that Howard Hughes, when worth approximately 4 billion dollars, said, "I’d give it all for one good friend." The Hidden Value of a Man, Smalley, Trent, pp. 133ff

We’re living in an instant/throwaway society. We often throw away our relationships. Families, marriages, friends – we sometimes think that if it doesn’t work out – too bad, I quit. We need commitment! A real friendship is not accidental – it takes wisdom, time, effort to build friendship.

Profound Commitment involves choosing your friends wisely…

Proverbs 12:26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray

You can’t choose your family, but you do choose your friends… God says to use caution…

Choose your close friends carefully… –

George Washington said, "Associate with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company."

1Corinthians 15: 33 "don't be misled, bad companions corrupt good character".

Don’t hang out with the wrong people… character flawed people… take time to get to know them…

Bad friends will corrupt you… "birds of a feather, flock together"… speaking of birds…

"If you hang out with turkeys, you’ll never fly with the eagles"

"I went out to find a friend, But could not find one there;"

"I went out to be a friend, and friends were everywhere!"

Don’t try to buy friendship – it’ll backfire on you – to have a friend you must be a friend! (Prov 19:4-6)

A friend you have to buy won't be worth what you pay for him. George D. Prentice (1802-1870)

Often our hectic lifestyle promotes shallow superficial relationships having shallow commitments.

Sometimes taking years to find out who your supposed "friend" really is… (Cautious - emails/texting)

God desires to be your friend!

God created us to have a relationship with Him – He’s committed to you in spite of your warts & wrinkles

You sense God gently speaking to you – yet there’s a disconnect from Him… an emptiness.

We’re told Moses & Abraham had a real friendship with God

Exodus 33:11a "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend…"

James 2:23b "…Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend."

Our Creator desires an intimate relationship with you! He desires to be your "Friend".

Can you imagine the Creator of the universe wants to be your "Friend"?

 

2. Pure Truth ~ Authenticity

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

In any true friendship there must be truth & honesty – an openness to share and to communicate.

Everybody has areas in their lives that are hidden from us yet wide open to our friends. (Pride blinds us)

Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."

Friends sharing with each other – it’s not one-sided. Not scheming, controlling, dominating, etc…

Being truthful involves being able to keep a secret. Not being a gossip or busybody.

I read about two friends who went camping out in the woods. They woke up the first morning and were standing by their tent having their first cup of coffee for the day when they suddenly spotted a grizzly bear heading for them at full speed. Quickly, the one man reached down and grabbed his tennis shoes and started putting them on. The other man looked at him and said, "What are you doing? Do you think you can outrun that grizzly bear?" And the first man said, "No, and I don't need to. All I need to do is to outrun you!" Good Friends!

o Ben Franklin said, "Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing".

o Aristotle said, "Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies".

 

God so deeply desires a relationship with us, He has communicated this to us with the Bible.

We come to know Him through God’s Word – the written truth of God. God’s love letter to mankind.

In the midst of a world in free-fall… corruption & lies, God’s Word the Bible is true… we can depend upon it

In the Gospels Jesus used the phrase "I tell you the truth…" 78 times!

John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Please notice the way to the Father is not being good enough, it is not joining a church, it is not a certain denomination, and it is not baptism. The way to the Father is a person – Jesus Christ.

The Lord Jesus wants to be your Friend. The way to the Father is through Christ! The Truth, The Way!

3. Proven Love ~ Demonstrated

Proverbs 17:17a "A friend loves at all times…"

People around us are craving to be genuinely loved… often looking for love in all the wrong places… jumping in & out of relationships… seeking a real friend…

God says a friend loves at all times… But I got angry… But they did this to me… ALL TIMES.

A friends love is proven which takes time… love is demonstrated…

The North American Indians had no written alphabet before they met the white man, compare the coldness of the word "friend" with the phrase they used… "one-who-carries-my-sorrows-on-his-back"

As his UCLA football team suffered through a poor season in the early 1970s, head coach Pepper Rodgers came under intense criticism and pressure from alumni and fans. Things got so bad, he remembers with a smile, that friends became hard to find. "My dog was my only true friend," Rodgers says of that year. "I told my wife that every man needs at least two good friends—and she bought me another dog."

Today in the Word, November, 1996, p. 27.

A true friend will be your friend if you gain weight or if you loose the use of your arms or your legs.

Serve your friends in thoughtful, unexpected ways… keep in touch with them… express appreciation

A true friend will love you at all times, no matter what. "A friend loves at all times."

We see a story of a few guys who made a difference in their friend’s life…

Lu 5.17-26 "…18 Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19 When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. 20 When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven." …But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 25 Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God.

These guys demonstrated love for their friend…

Jeremiah 31:3b "…I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

God loves us unconditionally… how long is forever?

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus left eternity in heaven to come to earth to die for his friends -- that's you and me -- that's love.

Jer. 31: 3 says "I have loved you with in everlasting love!"

God's love was proven at Calvary where Jesus died for you and me. That’s unconditional love!

 

 

4. Personal Sacrifice ~ Life-changing

True friendship always involves sacrifice. Going out of your way to help someone, sacrificing your time, money, and effort, being inconvenienced. There must be sacrifice…

A story reported in the Portland Oregonian newspaper about a black soldier from the South who was given a posthumous award of the Medal of Honor. This soldier with several buddies was in a trench during a Vietcong attack when a grenade was thrown into their trench. Without hesitation, the soldier encircled the grenade with his body and took the full force of the explosion. His sacrificial and heroic act had saved the lives of the other soldiers, his friends in the trench. —Ministers’ Research Service

True friends do not desert you, they encourage you, they help you grow spiritually. They take time with you

A True friend loves you for who you are unconditionally. They’re open, genuine, and sincere – they’re real.

The greatest love is laying your life down for your friends. To give your life to save others – sacrificial love.

There is not a person on earth who will love you, accept you, be honest with you more that Jesus.

The ultimate personal friend is Jesus and He wants to be friends with everyone sitting here today.

Many people today are empty spiritually… faithful to church your whole life… yet unfulfilled / confused…

Often trying hard to find peace with God yet still feeling hollow… I call it a God-sized hole in your heart

 

 

Jesus calls us to a Relationship NOT a Religion!

There are over 4300 religions in the world… all claiming truth… Muslims, Buddhist, New Age…

Religion does not save anyone from sin… Jesus does, He’s the WAY, the TRUTH, the LIFE…

John 15:13-14 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.

Let this verse sink deep into our hearts… Jesus took the "grenade/Calvary" for His friends…

You are Jesus’ friend IF you obey the truth… Salvation is a relationship with a person – Jesus Christ

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him (Jesus), to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For those of you who can honestly say today that you have never experienced a relationship with God.

I want to, as a friend, extend to you an invitation today to have the greatest friend you will ever know.

He is a friend who will love and accept you for who you are.

He wants to be your friend so you can have a relationship with Him and receive forgiveness for your sins.

The Bible says we need to: 1) Acknowledge your sin. 2) Believe in your heart. 3) Confess Jesus as Lord

 

When you Invite Christ into your heart you begin a new relationship with him, that opens a whole new dimension to your life… Forgiveness… Abundant Life… Eternity in Heaven!

Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I now invite you into my life as my Lord and Savior. Take control of my life, forgive my sins and make me your child. Amen

Thank you for joining us for "Friend Day"…

Join us again next week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAVE YOU BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?" 

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.  I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME  30 -ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?? 

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS  BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. HMMM,...OR COULD HE??? 

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED NORTH COBB HIGH SCHOOL. 

"YES. YES, I DID.' I'M A   WARRIOR" HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE. 

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1974 . WHY DO YOU ASK?" 

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED. 

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. 

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED MAN  ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"