Pastor Dave Martin ~ Cross Creek Community Church ~ June 18, 2006

“Dad’s Legacy”

Today is fathers day. Happy Fathers Day! There are 80 million Fathers in America! (Big day for “collect” calls home)

A cover article in the February 27 issue of U. S. News & World Report concluded that: Dad is destiny. More than any other factor, a father’s presence in the family will determine a child’s success and happiness.”

Families in America are in desperate need of Godly dad’s... The need for fathers today is great:

Everyday in America:

·         1,000 unwed teenage girls become mothers

·         1,106 teenage girls get abortions

·         4,219 teenagers contract a STD

·         500 teens begin using drugs

·         1,000 teens begin drinking alcohol

·         135,000 kids bring a gun or other weapon to school

·         3,610 teens are assaulted, 80 are raped

·         2,200 teens drop out of school

·         7 kids (ages 10-19) are murdered

·         7 juveniles (17 and under) are arrested for murder

·         6 teens commit suicide

Various studies conducted by Yale, John Hopkins and other groups have documented the following:

·         The absence of a father is a stronger factor than poverty in contributing to juvenile delinquency.

·         In 48 cultures around the world crime rates were highest among adults who as children had been raised solely by women.

·         Closeness with parents was the common factor in hypertension, coronary heart disease, malignant tumors, mental illness and suicide.

·         A study of 39 teenage girls suffering from anorexia nervosa showed that 36 of them had one common denominator; lack of closeness with their fathers.

·         An emotionally or physically absent father contributes to a child’s
(1) low motivation for achievement;
(2) inability to defer immediate gratification for later rewards;
(3) low self esteem;
(4) susceptibility to group influence and juvenile delinquency.

·         These stats speak for themselves, father’s are important in the lives of their children, and they need to be there not just physically but emotionally as well.

·            “More than virtually any other factor, a biological father’s presence in the family will determine a child’s success and happiness.”—U. S. News and World Report

Proverbs 24:3-4 ³ By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; ⁴ through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

·         Our children are rare and beautiful treasures loaned to us by the Lord.

·         I’m calling all dad’s to leave a Godly legacy in your homes for future generations.

·         Sadly the facts show Christian kids not far behind these statistics

Psalms 127:1a “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain...”

·            Don’t sacrifice the future on the altar of the immediate

·            With God’s help we can build strong lives... leaving a Godly legacy that will continue.

Leaving a Godly Legacy...

I.  Analyze and Handle your Past “Baggage”!

1 Thessalonians 5:21 Test everything. Hold on to the good.

Most men spend their lives avoiding God because it is a re-encounter with their own father which was nonbonding and non affirming.

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

Philippians 3:13-14 ¹³ Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

II. Get and Stay Personally “Connected”!

LOVE – TIME – COMMUNICATION – INSTRUCTION – DISCIPLINE

·         Dad’s, be demonstrating love to your wife & kids... We must begin to do a better job in connecting with our families.

·         Take the time to personally connect with your family... What’s more important??? Internet? Workplace? Money?

Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.”

His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life!”

The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the difference between wasting and investing is to know one’s ultimate purpose in life and to judge accordingly.                                                                    Silas Shotwell, in September, 1987, Homemade

·         What’s your ultimate purpose?  There is no higher calling than raising blessed children leaving a Godly legacy.

·         How’s your communications?  Are your words building up or tearing down? Not driving wedges but building bridges. 

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

·         Dad, are you faithfully instructing your wife and children?  Consistent in discipline?

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

·         If you don’t reach your kids, who will?  The world will – MTV had $6.84 billion in revenues in 2004!

Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “My only regret in my life is that it was always so difficult to let my father know the great depth of my affection for him.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,

"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy."

- William Rasberry, syndicated columnist for the Washington Post... “Is it possible to reconnect fathers to their children? To reverse societal trends that produced the separation in the first place? To fashion government policies and reshape attitudes regarding fathers themselves? Probably. But not until we reconvince ourselves of what used to be common sense: Children need their fathers.”

·         Get and stay connected... spend time together... the average 5 year old spends 25 minutes per week with their father and 25 hours per week with their TV... how about it dad?

III. Spiritually Grow Christlike in “Example”!

John 13:15 I (Jesus) have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

·            Jesus is speaking of an illustration concerning forgiveness & humility... we must be Christ-like in example

·            As we behold the glory of Christ we are slowly transformed into His likeness!

·            Hungering more and more for His presence in our lives... faithful to His Word... abiding in Him!

Being a father is much more than performing a biological function. It is about loving and caring, guiding and sharing.

2 Corinthians 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

"Daddy Had a Little Boy" -- A Father's Poem

Daddy had a little boy, His soul was white as snow. He never went to Sunday School Cause Daddy wouldn't go.

He never heard the Word of God. That thrills the childish mind, While other children went to class, This child was left behind.

As he grew from babe to youth, Dad saw to his dismay, A soul that once was snowy white, Became a dingy grey.

Realizing that his son was lost, Dad tried to win him back. But now the soul that once was white, Had turned an ugly black.

Dad even started back to church, and Bible study too; He begged the preacher,"Isn't there a thing you can do?"

The preacher tried, failed, and said "We're just too far behind; I tried to tell you years ago, But you would pay me no mind."

And so another soul was lost, That once was white as snow; Sunday School would have helped, But Daddy wouldn't go.

    - Pulpit Helps

Men, Let Us Be...

ü         The Protector of Our Families!

Proverbs 14:26 He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.

·            Men, you’re the gate-keeper in your homes and families – this is extremely important. Hard work

·            Sadly our homes are more like a battlefield than an refuge... Satan has the upper hand – defeated

·            Be the protector... Don’t tell me how tough & spiritual you are... show me your life & family

Don Wallis and The Philadelphia Inquirer, Community Impact Bulletin, December 6, 1994

·            Are we allowing the enemy into our homes?  Internet, My Space (I spoke about My Space with absolute FULL attention of the young people – I joined & check out some of our young people’s sites – parents need to know!), questionable movies/programming, video games... be the protector and stand strong!

ü         The Provider for Our Families!

1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

·            God calls us to provide for our families... finances, food, shelter, clothing

2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."

·            Tends we see today... dad’s becoming more and more lazy... Gov’t will take care of me, it’s not my problem.  We lose our self-esteem, we become defensive, we check out with God

The USA Weekend article (“Fatherless America, 2/24 - 26/95) states: “Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of the decline in the well being of children. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems from crime to adolescent pregnancy to domestic violence.”

Quoted in Christian News, June 1-30, 1995, p. 6

A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were 2 boy kitties and 2 girl kitties.  "How do you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."

ü         The Spiritual Leader to Our Families!

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

·            Men, God calls us to be the spiritual leaders of our homes.  Spiritual High Priest of the home!

Family Worship

If both your parents worshipped with you regularly while you were growing up, there’s an 80 percent likelihood that you’ll worship God regularly as an adult.  If only your mother worshipped regularly with you, there’s only a 30 percent probability that you’ll worship regularly as an adult.  If only your father worshipped regularly with you, the likelihood that you’ll worship regularly as an adult increases to 70 percent!  Fathers have an enormous impact on their children’s faith and values. One of your most important ministries is worshipping with your kids!

On the Father Front, Christian Service Brigade, Spring, 1995, p. 4

·            If you can’t manage yourself spiritually, why do you expect your children will turn out any different?

·            Who’s the spiritual driving force in your home, mom? Or dad? 

·            7 out of 10 children brought up in a Christian home departs when able – why?  Hypocrisy they see.

·            To the world you might be one person; but to one person, you might be the world!

What Legacy are you leaving?

Deuteronomy 6:2, 5-7, 12 “so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life... ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up... ¹² be careful that you do not forget the LORD...”

A father is not judged by how much he earns or how many material goods he provides. What does matter to his children is how well he is being a father... Anyone can have a child, but it takes a special man to be a father."

Just Like You

There are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day;
There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say;
There are little hands all eager to do everything you do,
And a little boy who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol, you’re the wisest of the wise,
In his little mind about you, no suspicions ever rise;
He believes in you devoutly, holds that all you say and do,
He will say and do in your way when he’s grown up to be like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you’re always right,
And his ears are always open and he watches day and night;
You are setting an example every day in all you do,
For the little boy who’s waiting to grow up to be like you.

Let’s Pray

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