Pastor Dave Martin ~ Cross Creek Community Church ~ Feb 11, 2007
“Successful Parenting”
Family Part 2 of 6
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Last week we learned marriage & the family are defined by God not man, God’s Word is our blueprint. |
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We looked at the current condition of the family institution in America – sadly it’s in spiritual freefall. |
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We also learned about the principles of the “three generations”… hot, lukewarm or cold… |
We must reach our Generation…
Psalms 71:18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.
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Reaching our generation of young people is a responsibility for everyone… no matter your age… |
Psalms 78:3-6 3 what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. 5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, 6 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.
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To instruct each generation is imperative… we must not lose our generation of young people. |
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The rise and fall of our families depends primarily upon our moms & dads… strong marriages & homes |
Successful Parenting Principles…
1. Parenting Must Deal with the Childs Sinful Nature.
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David said in Ps 51:5, in sin did my mother conceive me… not speaking of an act of fornication but of the Adamic curse…David’s nature was sinful and evil from the very moment of conception. |
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All, everyone ever born has been born with a sinful nature… we’re sinful from the beginning… no one is exempt… the entire human race stands fallen, alienated from a Holy God… needing forgiveness of sin. |
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We have inherited both the guilt and corruption of Adam’s sin and have passed it on to our children. |
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There is no natural hunger for God or His righteousness… we naturally have an appetite to do evil. |
Romans 8:7-8 7 the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8 Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
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God says we are not innocent creature who become sinners… we are a sinner from conception (Adam) |
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Who has taught our children to lie? Throw temper tantrums? To fight, rebel or talk back to you? |
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Babies look so innocent… like sweet little angels…I heard that babies are angels whose wings grow shorter as their legs grow longer… |
Evidences of Original Sin. Test this on the toddlers in your home or church kids!
1. If I like it, it’s mine. 2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. 5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
2 Timothy 3:15 and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (“Infancy” – baby, without the power of speech, moment you were born)
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Do not be “lulled” to sleep by how “cute and adorable” children are… you must win them to Christ. |
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I believe Scripture teaches us if a child dies before the age of innocence they will be ushered into heaven…David was weeping and crying out for the Lord to save his son… after 7 days his son with Bathsheba died and we read in 2 Samuel 12:22-23 22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." |
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Parents MUST confront & face the heavy “weight” of making sure little Johnny or Susie gets saved early. |
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Understanding the truth of God’s Word and win your children or suffer the consequences. |
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Child Evangelism Fellowship report figures in coming to Christ… 1% before 4yrs, 85% between 4-14yrs, 10% between 15-30yrs, 4% after 30yrs of age… we must reach our children early. (Mt 19:14) |
Ø Parents are the most vital influence in a child’s Life.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
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A big problem is that parents have abdicated their responsibility to others… television, internet, peer groups, schools, video games, gov’t programs… do not let outside influence shape your kids, you do it! |
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There is no one greater than you to influence them… you must be constantly building a relationship… |
2. Parenting Must be Pro-active and Full-time.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
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Impress – be diligent to repeat them again and again to your children (be sure they are in your heart) |
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Passive indifference is destroying our families today… a pervasive hands off philosophy. |
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As parents it begins with you being right with God… if you’re wayward, don’t expect much from child |
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Allowing God’s Word to be a “natural fit” for everything in your family – not awkward, stiff or forced. |
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Molding precious moldable minds is a full time job… The world will do it if you fail to be involved. |
James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
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Your church and youth programs will help with the task but the weighty responsibility rest with parents. |
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Children crave love, they need you. The best thing a parent can spend on a child is time – not money! |
Ø Parenting success is measured by what parents do.
Deuteronomy 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
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We like making babies but struggle in raising them… God calls us to be faithful in our parenting roles |
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God tells us parenting is a fulltime activity… we’re seeing a shift to daycare centers or childcare… |
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Sadly many parents have abdicated their God ordained parental role in raising their children to others. |
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To the degree that we follow God’s design for parenting – will determine how successful we actually are |
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Remember to use every available means to reach your child for Jesus Christ. |
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I heard one way to curb child delinquency is to take the parents off the streets at night! |
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We must be engaged in your child’s life… It’s much easier to build a boy then to mend a man! |
3. Parenting Must set the correct Priority Agenda.
Speaking of Priorities… Which Disturbs You Most?
1. A soul lost in Hell...or a scratch on your new car?
2. Your missing the worship service...or missing a day's work?
3. A sermon ten minutes overtime ... or lunch a half hour late?
4. The church not growing ... or the garden not growing?
5. Your Bible being unopened ... or your newspaper not read?
6. Your children being late for school ... or late for Sunday school or Awana’s?
7. The offerings decreasing ... or your income decreasing?
8. Your church work being neglected ... or your housework being neglected?
9. Missing a good Bible study ... or missing a favorite T.V. program?
—C.F. Banner —Encyclopedia of 15,000 Illustrations
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
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Joshua chose who he would serve… Good parenting requires thousands of decisions over the years… |
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Who’s the decision maker in your household? Who sets the agenda’s? Who dictates the activities? |
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Store to shop? When to leave? Who decides the priorities in your home… 6yr old or a 32yr old parent? |
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Parents sets the correct priorities: God – Family – Church – Everything else (activities, school, work) |
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
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If our priorities are wrong, there’s no hope of teaching our children what they need to learn… |
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Parents must be spiritually right with the Lord… setting the agenda in the home… affecting lives forever |
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We’re fully aware of our children seeing our hypocrisy… allow your talk & walk align together |
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Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to example! |
Ø Parenting is a joy not a burden.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
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If you abdicate your responsibility – your life will be filled with misery, distress & difficulties…not joy |
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Love your children, build strong relationships with them… not a burden to you but really enjoying them |
4. Parenting Must Instill Godly Character.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
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Character is neither inbred by genetics nor picked up by osmosis… children are taught what to become |
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Whenever outside influences shape the child’s character more than the parents… parenting has failed |
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I’ve seen children act politely in public yet behind the scenes like little devils… parents ignorant of truth |
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By training, teaching and living God’s Word… more about this in the next few weeks |
Ecclesiastes 12:1,13-14 Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"— 13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole [duty] of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.
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Parents must instill Godly character… someday we will be held accountable before God |
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We must be HOT 1st generation Christians setting the agenda, impacting our children for an eternity. |
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Parents sometimes joke about bad behavior or simply ignore their children’s character flaws… |
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Listen carefully – if you can’t control a child what will happen when they become teenagers? |
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As a parent, be sure you are saved and pray for the salvation for your children, spiritual transformation. |
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Always remember point 1 – our children are sinners needing to be led to righteousness through Christ |
Ø Parenting is a blessing not a hardship.
Psalms 127:3-5 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
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Children are blessed gifts from the Lord to us… God designed them that way… to enjoy them! |
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The wonders of conception – a sperm & an egg coming together forming unique DNA… Creator God! |
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God says to have your quiver full… Cathy & my quiver held 5… 2 sons & 3 daughters… ages range from 21 to 33… each awesomely wonderful and unique… we love them dearly… |
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Each of them trusted Jesus Christ early in their lives and each one today is faithfully serving the Lord in Bible believing churches! My wife Cathy, a stay at home mom did an excellent job in raising them… instilling in each one a strong work ethic, honesty & truthfulness, decency, character, fear of God, friendliness… they smile a lot and have good attitudes… they’re well liked by others…PTL, God’s Grace! |
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Children are our reward from the Lord, a blessing from God Himself entrusted to us to do a good job |
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Lord willing, next week we’ll look at the 3 things parents can do to begin impacting their families for Christ… You have to come back next week to learn about these three truths from God’s Word. |
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Remember tonight is the Song of Solomon video series (with child care) from 6-7:30pm |
Let’s Pray
Adapted from following resources::
The Heritage Foundation - http://www.heritage.org
Family Life - http://www.familylife.com
“Successful Christian Parenting”, John MacArthur; Word Publishing 1998
“The Five Love Languages”, Gary Chapman; Northfield publishing 2004
“Starting Your Marriage Right”, Dennis & Barbara Rainey; Nelson Books 2000
“Battle Cry for a Generation”, Ron Luce; Cook Ministries – NexGen 2005
“Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing them Down”, Dr Kevin Leman; Delacorte Press 1993
What follows is a commentary offered by Paul Harvey, following the 1999 Columbine High School shootings:
For the life of me, I can't understand what could have gone wrong in Littleton, Colorado. If only the parents had kept their children away from the guns, we wouldn't have had such a tragedy. Yeah, it must have been the guns.
It couldn't have been because half of our children are being raised in broken homes. It couldn't have been because our children get to spend an average of 30 seconds in meaningful conversation with their parents each day. After all we give our children quality time.
It couldn't have been because we treat our children as pets and our pets as children. It couldn't have been because we place our children in day care centers where they learn their socialization skills among their peers under the law of the jungle while employees who have no vested interest in the children look on and make sure that no blood is spilled.
It couldn't have been because we allow our children to watch, on average, seven hours of television a day filled with the glorification of sex and violence that isn't fit for adult consumption.
It couldn't have been because we allow (or even encourage) our children to enter into virtual worlds in which, to win the game, one must kill as many opponents as possible in the most sadistic way possible.
It couldn't have been because we have sterilized and contracepted our families down to sizes so small that the children we do have are so spoiled with material things that they come to equate the receiving of the material with love.
It couldn't have been because our children, who historically have been seen as a blessing from God, are now being viewed as either a mistake created when contraception fails or inconveniences that parents try to raise in their spare time.
It couldn't have been because we give two year prison sentences to teenagers who kill their newborns. It couldn't have been because our school systems teach the children that they are nothing but glorified apes who have revolutionized out of some primordial soup of mud.
It couldn't have been because we teach our children that there are no laws of morality that transcend us, that everything is relative and that actions don't have consequences. What the heck, the president gets away with it.
Nah, it must have been the guns.
—Youthworker's Encyclopedia 2000